


"I Love You."

by luke_is_a_kirby



Series: 5 Seconds of Summer One Shots [7]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Best Friends, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sad, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Short, Short One Shot, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5837695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luke_is_a_kirby/pseuds/luke_is_a_kirby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"LUKE!!!! No, no, no, no, no! You can't close your eyes on me Luke! I care about you too fucking much to let you do this!" Calum cried, begging and pleading for me to stay awake. But the problem was I didn't want to. I didn't want to keep living through the hate telling me to kill myself. How I was ugly. How I made no difference to the band, how all I did was bring them down. I pushed my will into saying, hopefully one of the last words to come from my mouth, weakly.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>~~<br/>Or where Luke tries to deal with all the hate and self-confidence issues before dropping so low to the point where Calum finds him in a place he never wants to see him in. Open-Ended Ending. May Become a Multi-Chaptered Story.  Trigger Warning.<br/>*Update: It is completed with 2 chapters*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I didn't tag this right or something because it looks so off, but onward we go! This used to be part of my one shot book on Wattpad but I took it down because it wasn't getting any views. This is short, a lot shorter than my other works since it only comes to about 800 words, but it does have a different mood than the others as well. I hope you enjoy it!

Luke's P.O.V.

I groaned and flop down on the other side of the bed scrolling through Twitter.

"@calumsbae1996: Have you guys see @Luke5SOS, he looks so fucking fat and ugly now!!!"

"@lilly5sosxxx: @Luke5SOS, you should quit, you can't sing for shit and don't compare to the other boys"

"@mikeyskittenxashton: @Luke5SOS kill yourself plz, the world doesn't fucking need you"

"@justlovin5sos: you should just do everyone a favor and kill yourself. No one likes you @Luke5SOS"

I but my lip trying to contain my tears. Was I really that worthless?

"@kissxxmay: Kill yourself. You're worthless @Luke5SOS"

I couldn't take it anymore. I threw my phone on my bed and rushed for the bathroom. I slammed both the door and the lock. I couldn't take the hate anymore.

'Why me? Why couldn't I look like everybody else in the band? Why can't I be loved like everyone else?' I sobbed.

I pushed the bottom cabinet open in search of relief. I pulled my hand back out when I touched metal. Tears kept pouring over my face as I held the razor still on the inside of my forearm. I stared at the older cuts through my tears, this wasn't the first time I had done this, and I hated myself for cutting, for inflicting pain and scars onto my own body, but it was my only escape. My only escape from reality. From all the pain and hate. And from the truth.

I couldn't do drugs because I was scared, because I didn't have control if I overdosed. But when I cut, I can control how deep I cut or how long, and worst of all which direction. Vertically or horizontally. One that was deadly and the other not as dangerous, but still inflicting. I pushed myself back against the wall by the bathtub and paused.

I was holding the razor perpendicular to my veins, but then I thought to myself, 'What if I just ended my life?'

There were so many fans and comments telling me I was worthless and didn't deserve to live. I continued sobbing for a couple moments before switching directions.

The blade was now parallel to my veins and I felt no doubt in my mind. 'Nobody loved me so who would care if I died?'

My hand was visibly shaking with the razor gripped tightly in a fist before I dragged it across harshly. I winced at the burn, the fire inside me was growing. Growing from the fuel of self-inflict and I couldn't stop. I kept going, dragging the blade all over my inner forearm before switching over to the other side when I couldn't make anymore cuts into my left arm. By now I was sobbing hysterically loud and was grateful that the house was empty, not wanting to face the other boys if they caught me.

My vision was starting to darken and I had stopped sobbing. I had paused for a minute to take in what I had done. I watched as the blood dripped from the cuts on my arm down onto the bathroom tiles. I closed my eyes, feeling sick from the amount of blood that collected onto the floor. I dropped the razor, feeling dizzy before I heard someone calling out for me, but I was too far gone to comprehend anything anymore.

I was now wishing I had thought this out before, with the growing need to let somebody know why. I let out a whimper, the thought of the other boys blaming themselves when it was my fault. My fault because all I did was weigh them down. I heard someone calling out something, my name.

"Luke? Are you in there?" My head was pounding, but all I wanted to do was figure out who was calling for me. Calum, it was my best friend calling for me. I wasn't sure if I should be frightened of the idea of him finding me like this or pure happiness for seeing one of the best things in my life one last time before I died. I heard Calum speak again, "Luke, fucking answering me or I'll fucking break this door down."

I couldn't even say anything if I tried, so close to passing out into the peaceful bliss of darkness that was slowly embracing me.

I wondered what was taking Calum so long before I faintly head the door slam into the wall across from it.

"LUKE!!!! No, no, no, no, no! You can't close your eyes on me Luke! I care about you too fucking much to let you do this!" Calum cried, begging and pleading for me to stay awake. But the problem was I didn't want to. I didn't want to keep living through the hate telling me to kill myself. How I was ugly. How I made no difference to the band, how all I did was bring them down. I pushed my will into saying, hopefully one of the last words to come from my mouth, weakly,

"I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen and Calum's life, may or may not be as affected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is long overdue, but I've been having a hard time writing as I am also way behind with my daily active accounts, but I am back, and I will get better at posting on this site. But I do hope you enjoyed the ending! Also this is unedited, as I don't really have time to edit it, but I hope you still like it! :)

Calum’s P.O.V.

I held my head in my hands, if only I was a better friend, a better person. Then maybe, just maybe we wouldn’t be here in this situation of sadness and guilt.

I sat, wallowing in my misery, looking up, occasionally to check if the doctor came out with news about Luke. I jumped, feeling a strong hand on my shoulder, and looked up.

“He'll be okay, he's a fighter,” Michael reassured me, but I couldn't help but disregard his words. I could only curl in onto myself smaller, the hospital's uncomfortable chair digging into my back, but I couldn't care anymore.

All I could think about was Luke. The small, young blonde whom I should've paid more attention to. I sighed softly, but Ashton had heard me, and only rubbed my hands down my back in a soothing manner, talking to Michael, quietly.

…

“Luke Hemmings?” I jerked up, hearing his name, and shoved everyone up as we followed the nurse.

“Please wait here, the doctor will be here, right about now.”

I turned to see a women, I'm guessing in her late 30's, as she came up to us, holding a clipboard.

“As you know, Mr. Hemmings is suicidal, with all the self-harm marks, but he is fine, breathing and resting behind this door,” She paused, before continuing.

“But I do ask to get him to a couselor, or have him stay a bit longer, to make sure things are going alright, but it is up to you guys.

Make sure he eats, gets a lot of sleep, and please do keep an eye on him, as it may happen again.” I nodded, my thoughts going straight to Luke, not taking a care in her words.

She continued talking, telling Ashton, who was listening intently about medications and all that other stuff before she finally opened the door to Luke's room.

I stepped forward, eyes immediately searching for the blue-eyed blond, finally finding him bunched over the blankets, with his face only seen.

I couldn't help but coo at the sight before sliding up to the right side of his bed and planting my bum on yet another uncomfortable chair.

“Hey, Luke,” He looked up at me, before turning over and patting the spot next to him. I grinned, climbing in, while Michael chuckled, Ashton looking at us, adoringly.

“How are you feeling, blondie?” Luke flushed, but answered nevertheless.  
“Fine, I guess,” He paused, hearing his voice crack and extended his arms towards a glass of water the Ash gave to Luke.

He took a few sips before continuing, “I'm sorry I put you guys through so much trouble-”

“No,” Michael stopped Luke from continuing. “Don't you dare take the blame, do you know how happy I am that Calum came back early to charge his phone? Imagine, Lukey, you mean everything to us, and you're never a bother. Ever.”

“And we're also sorry for not seeing how unhappy you were, maybe we could've prevented it, but we love you, and we need you Luke,” Ashton continued.

He looked down ashamed, wringing his fingers, “Sorry, didn't mean to worry you.”

I tilted his chin up to meet my eyes before speaking, “Hey, we love you and you mean the world to us, tell us Luke, we need you. Alright?”

He smiled, his eyes glazing over as he replied, “Alright, I love you guys.”

The four of us shared a smile before wrapping the broad blonde in a group hug, “And we love you, Lukey.”

He turned, and planted his lips on mine, grinning softly, as I sat shell-shocked and pulled him back in for another kiss after I caught what had just happened, the other two hooting in the background. And I thought, things are going to get better, especially with Luke.

…

“Luke, are you almost done, you've been in there for a while.” I knocked on the bathroom door gently.

“Yeah, just needed to fix my hair,” He replied while opening the door, a small smile on his face.

I sighed in relief, “Alright baby, hold up and let me fix my hair and we can go.”

He nodded enthusiastically, and I couldn't help but laugh, his blue eyes sparkled in laughter as he too joined in as well before retreating back into the living room.

I stood in the mirror, carding my hands through my hair, thinking of Luke and everything that has happened ever since that day.

It has been two years since that fateful day and I couldn't be happier today, with my boyfriend by my side. We may have crashed and sunken a few times, but he always fought back even harder, with me by his side.

The band has never been bigger than ever with 5 album releases and an additional world tour for every new album release. The fans have been nothing but supportive from the beginning and I couldn't be more grateful.

I smiled, satisfied with my hair, before taking a glance at my reflection one last time, and grinning, I've never been happier than I am now, especially with the love of my life, waiting for our date to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love Cake, they are so cute, I may be biased though. I hope the ending satisfied you, and thank you all for reading. I have another one shot I haven't finished, but let's hope I finish it soon, and have something else for you guys, but thank you for all your feedback and kudos! Love you! <3
> 
> Till Next Time! xXx

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate the open-ended ending, I didn't know how to end it and I was also debating on making this a multi-chaptered book or plot. Comment down below if you want me to continue this or else I'll leave the ending because it somewhat satisfies me. Also, I'm posting the Muke one shot on Saturday or Sunday depending on when I have time to put it up. Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter @infinitelyxtori.
> 
> Till Next Time! xXx


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